Floods, Centipedes and U-tubes

This tongue-in-cheek opinion by lawyer Richard Naidu cracked a smile on our faces despite our trying times of living under Bainimarama's Dictatorship AND Fiji’s pathetic performance at the Wellington 7s (Note: We hope the FRU can still weather the storm of public back-lash as valiantly as they did pre-Wellington).

Perhaps the real reason why the advertised position at the Elections Office could not come to fruition has been laid bare in their now famous U-tube.

It appears to be very much related to a sensitive matter that even the Reserve Bank is side-stepping.


100 feet of trouble
By Richard Naidu
Saturday, February 07, 2009

IN this new, "cleaned up" era of transparency and accountability, I do not believe the citizens of this country have been told enough about the disturbing story of the anti-democratic centipede threatening to compromise the integrity of the Elections Office.

All we are told, in a full-page advertisement from the Elections Office earlier this week, is that the hiring of its last new employee has been delayed "as a result of flooding and one applicant being bitten by a centipede."

Challenged by the news media on this, the Elections Office spokes-person, Diane Waller, would only say "that is a fact."

I certainly hope so. What else could she say? "I am sorry, that is not true, we made that part up?"

But in the obfuscatory tradition of all such spokespersons, her response cleverly denied us further vital information. Many disturbing questions remain unanswered.

It is a shame that Dr Shaista Shameem and her Fiji Human Rights Commission are not as active as previously. If this had been two years ago, they would have launched an immediate investigation into this sinister threat to people's rights to fair elections.

What is known about this centipede and who he (or she) works for? Answers to this question may reveal which hidden agendas are at work as we begin the long road ahead to electoral justice.

For example, is this centipede native to Fiji?

If so, suspicion must first fall on the SDL party, which clearly has an agenda to maintain the current communalistic and unfair electoral system which, despite being unanimously voted into law by Parliament, has apparently caused so many problems, many of which we did not know about until we were told about them by the National Council for Building a Better Fiji. If, of course, the centipede is of an introduced variety, it is interfering in the affairs of our sovereign state.

Indeed, if it came from New Zealand and had diplomatic links of any kind it could well be, to paraphrase our interim Attorney-General, a neo-colonial centipede.

Either way, it should then be declared a prohibited immigrant and expelled.

Another possibility is that the centipede is working for the regime, which wishes to derail the foreign aid-funded Elections Office process to avoid early elections.

What details do we know of the offending arthropod?

For example, did he (or she) have a short-back-and-sides haircut, or was he (or she) wearing army boots on (any of) his (or her) feet?

Either of these things might suggest military involvement.

In that case, the centipede should be reported to the relevant foreign missions for the immediate invocation of smart sanctions against him (or her) and all family members.

What is known of the centipede's position on the People's Charter for Change and Progress?

Shouldn't people be checking how the centipede signed that form on the Charter? Was the centipede for or against? Might the centipede be working for the Citizen's Constitutional Forum?

Is the centipede in communication, by email or otherwise, with the likes of The Fiji Times, Dr Wadan Narsey or Graham Leung?

We know of course as a result of a recent High Court decision that everything the interim Govern-ment is doing is legal, so in attempting to interfere with the lawful process of preparing for elections under a new electoral system, is the centipede potentially in contempt of court?

In that case the interim Attorney-General knows what to do. If the Human Rights Commission will not act, what about the Fiji Independent Commission Against Corruption?

This seems to have been a vicious attack on one of the nation's most fundamental institutions. It must be possible that the centipede received an inducement or reward of some kind to carry it out, from a person or persons unknown.

Why have the centipede's premises not been raided and all his (or her) files confiscated?

All in all, the nation must be told more. I call on the Elections Office to release full details of the centipede attack so that we may be kept fully informed on this disturbing impediment to our moving forward in unity and harmony as one nation.

* Richard Naidu is a Suva lawyer. In the interests of transparency and accountability, he discloses that a centipede bit him once.