I don't mind admitting that one is never too old to learn something new. In my case it has been re-discovering a simple but fundamental truth, which I feel bound to share. It's that certainty is a much undervalued commodity. We take it for granted when we have it, yet we're rendered dangerously vulnerable when we don't.
For me, my uncertainty deepened by degree, almost in lock-step with the incremental escalation of Commodore Bainimarama's confrontation tactics over the course of the past year or so. Then, on December 5 he seized power by threatening to use his guns. That's when my sense of uncertainty peaked, or should I say bottomed?
Yet for others it had the opposite effect. The justifications advanced by Bainimarama at the time undoubtedly resonated with elements of the hoi polloi. Here's someone, they thought, who'll put things right. In other words, suddenly, with the brandishing of a gun, greater certainty was at hand.
Yet what have we got now? More uncertainty, that's what. And it's being generated by an increasingly moribund "interim" regime. Moribund? Well, let's take an example: Despite promises of an early statement, there's still no comprehensive public response by the junta to the Pacific Forum Ministers' Outcomes Statement of March 16. Surprised? Never! That's how Frank runs things. Go to his RFMF website and you'll see that no press releases have been issued since February 28. Now, is that a fearless, modern defence force on the move or what?
But seriously, rhetoric that sounded so focused, non-compromising and oh so noble a few months ago has been shown by subsequent events (non-events, actually) to have been a load of self-serving codswallop, and damn cynical and reckless codswallop at that!
I perceive that for an increasing number of Fijians there is a gradual, albeit reluctant, realization that they have been fed the big lie. It's a realization that will only give rise to more uncertainty.
It will be the worst kind of uncertainty - that gnawing, sometimes frightening feeling that not only engulfs individuals in a private despair but, as the "interim" regime flounders on and the economy weakens further, will continue to work its way in to the national psyche.
Speaking of matters psychological, I have no qualifications in this field, but who needs a medical degree to discern the bleeding obvious in the case of our self-appointed dictator? Simply consider his words and promises, compare them with his actions - and it's painfully clear that Commodore Voreqe Bainimarama is a few bananas short of a decent picnic. In this time of uncertainty, that's at least one thing that is certain. It's marvelously ironic, don't you think?