The Spoof-dot-com: Fijian Dictator wants to become King

Monday, 2 January 2012

Commodore Voreqe "Frank" Bainimarama, supreme leader and overlord of the South Pacific island nation of Fiji, has indicated that he is unhappy with his hands-on role of governing the popular tourist destination.

"When I took charge in glorious honour back in 2006, I never assumed that I would have to work as hard as I have. Do you think that these people torture themselves?" CDRE Bainimarama mused during a sedate Kava ceremony/press conference.

CDRE Bainimarana has long been known for having arguably, the most ridiculous headdress of any world leader - which has become a sore point for the burly leader.

"On reflection, it might have been a little short-sighted westernising my name as Frank and then wearing a beret." he stated. "However, I must admit I have had enough of the shouts of "ohh Betty" from my late colleagues."

CDRE Bainimarama then outlined his plan to relinquish the office he has held for almost six years, upgrading his trademark beret to a crown.

"From now on, I will be your King." Bainimaram decreed. "I can finally retire the beret!"

The beret will be auctioned so that the economy will not dip into recession when the new letterheads are printed.

King Frank I is set to be crowned at a time of his choosing.