December 10, 2012

Comic Relief: Grubby is getting depressed. Ahhh Diddums.


Please don't get angry with me any more. I am already very depressed. This is why I've stopped writing articles in the Fiji Sun and on Grubstreet Feejee. Did you know Shazzer, there are people out there making fun of me? This is too much. After all I have done for Fiji (subject to a small fee, of course). Riaz won't take my Grubby TV Christmas Special. He says it is culturally inappropriate. This from a guy who broadcasts the Kadarshians. He couldn't understand that the footage of my topless Macarena dance down Cakobau Road was humorously allegorical of the arrival of the missionaries and...well, never mind.

The Qorvis guys continue to ignore me. I have written a couple of Prime Ministerial speeches but they won't take them. I've been trying to keep up with this idea that "elites" wrote all our past constitutions and this one will be different. Tex of Qorvis is a bit cynical about this. "So," he giggled, "THIS one will be written by a military elite, right?" You need to watch Tex.  He was laughing at the speech I wrote for the Attorney-General for the Jai Narayan College prize giving calling on students to be loyal and honest. "How about,  be loyal to the constitution you threw out and be honest about your paypacket" he said (not in the A-G's hearing, of course).  

I know it is in the Qorvis contract that all operatives will get an Order of the Banana Fritter on completion. However I don't think Tex should get one. He is not loyal to the cause. I of course, believe that I am in line for the Order or the Golden Deep-Fried Vudi and I hope that they still have me on that list at Government House.  I do need something to uplift my spirits.  

One small tearful smoocheroo


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