February 18, 2013

Grubby Replies...

My dearest and darling Shazzer,

I am delighted at how easy it has been for you (with a teeny bit of help from me of course) to fool the Fiji public over the Airbus affair.

I really MUST hint to the Glorious Leader when I next see him, that you deserve a national award for your great misinformation success over the Air Pathetic purchase of the three Airbuses, and our Leader's visit to France to "receive" them.

You might also hint to Our Glorious Leader to consider an award for Peter LowClass at the Fiji SUNk  who has conveyed so wonderfully to the gullible public, that the visit to France by our Leader was absolutely necessary and a great success for him and Air Pathetic.

Wasn't it wonderful how the Fiji SUNk has given great exposure to David Pflogger, Asylum Khandidate of Vodafone, (I am still not quite sure why he went unless it was to give them all free roaming) and Lizzy PowellDancer together with Nalin PartyHell, the Chairman of the Air Pathetic Board, gushing over the Airbus which we will receive some time in the future.

Imagine, they went all the way to France and "received" nothing at all - they were only shown the "MOCK" Airbus, not even the real thing.

Darling, after the Fiji SUNk reporting, who in Fiji would be thinking for a moment that anyone who went on this France jaunt had a technical clue about aero planes let alone the Airbus.

How wonderful to have Nalin PartyHell say "We have just seen a mock of the A330-200 aircraft that we have ordered and it is fantastic for us.  All our team at Air Pathetic have done a fantastic job and we’re looking forward to inviting our first customers and indeed all our stakeholders to have an amazing experience in this mock up We will all be able to have a pretend flight and eat pretend food. Frankly Bananas has been practicing his airplane noises and does a very good pretend takeoff”

Thank God, no one from the public even asks what dear Nalin PartyHell would say if any company gave his auditing firm some "mock" accounts to audit?

You have to hand it to Nalin. For an accountant he sure has learnt quickly how to give the kind of spin that you and I are SO SO good at, without making public, a single set of Air Pathetic accounts to prove to the Fiji taxpayers who allegedly own Air Pathetic, that it has really been turned around financially. How SO SO CLEVER of Nalin.

You must hint to Jenny SeetonTheBoard that the Fiji Accountants Congress MUST consider Nalin for an award as its "Accountant and Auditor of the Year".

We must also take our hat off to David Pflogger. Imagine, since becoming CEO, he has changed the colors of the airline, inside and outside, bought three incredibly expensive planes AND, even before the planes have earned a single cent, not just done the runner BUT he has even managed to get the Chairman of the Board and our True Leader, aiyarse, to express their  gratitude to him.

You would think that the Chairman of the Air Pathetic Board might have expressed a little teensy weensy concern- please David, why are you leaving now before the planes have even arrived?

My darling, you must make sure that when the shit hits the Air Pathetic turbofans, all attention MUST be shifted, not to our Glorious Leader OR the True Leader, but to Mr Nalin PartyHell, who as the Chairman of Air Pathetic, is ultimately responsible for all decisions (Jealous Barak, former Chairman, must be laughing).

Dearest Shazzer, we must really hint to the Glorious Leader that Peter LowClass at the Fiji SUNk deserves an award in Fiji's Honors List for all the wonderful work his paper does.

Can you believe it?  He ran these stories how the Airbus manufacturer built the 3 Airbuses "exclusively" for Fiji? (Oh dear) and that the Fiji tapa  colours and designs, both in the exterior and interior of the plane, are going to be a great selling point for Fiji Airways.

There has not been a single Letter to the Editor of the Fiji SUNk how the colors of a plane, inside or outside, adds to the safety and efficiency of the plane, or the hospitality of the service staff (whose morale is at an all-time low especially when they have to serve horrible cold wraps to disgruntled passengers).

Even pensioner fart Talei BurnYourAss has not sent a letter weeping and wailing about her FNPF money lent to Air Pacific.

Indeed, the only protest we have had so far is a great diversionary spectacle by these silly NGOs and political parties squealing about the Air Pathetic patenting of the tapa designs - as if anyone can patent a tapa design around for a thousand years.

Darling, isn't it so boring how easy it is to get the Fiji public worked up about nothing whatsoever, while we totally wreck their lives? YAWN.

As for your award, "Dame" Shazer would have sounded great but sadly, Fiji is now a Republik.  I would suggest "Madam" Shazzer but that might get up the nose of that other "Madam" who snootily struts around the Fiji legal fraternity.

BTW, darling, could you also hint to the Glorious Leader a small award for me in the Fiji Honors List?

What a pity, I can no longer be Sir Gwubby, like that cwafty Sir James Aht OfTheKon who "got" his night "hood" from PNG.

But I would be happy with just an OF (Orifice of Fiji).

Your dearest and darling Gwubby

(PS when are the cases of Bordeaux arriving?)

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